What does it mean to suffer well?
I was reading an Instagram caption about a woman who was dealing with different health challenges and her husband wrote that his wife knew how to “suffer well.” The statement was simply written, but it rang so powerfully. It’s not often you hear stories of people going through a difficulty well, or handling a hardship well. Often you hear that they just went through the difficulty, but the details of how exactly they went through it—the attitude they had, the disappointments they carried, the thoughts they battled with, the faith they fought to hold onto—is left out. So I loved how he described the posture of his wife’s heart in the midst of the difficulty she was facing, and how she handled it all well. As I was reading the caption, I thought to myself, “do I know how to suffer well?” “Do I know how to deal with hardships well?” “Do I give up easily or do I actually fight this good fight of faith?”
So, what does it mean to suffer well? I think the fruits of the spirit listed in Galatians 5:22-23 is a good starting point to answering this question.
“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law.”
The fruit of longsuffering describes how we should suffer well. Some other translations describe the fruit as “patience.” But I think longsuffering is deeper than patience. I think it’s a fruit that shifts the posture of your heart to learn to wait expectantly in the midst of suffering no matter the circumstance.
There is a story in the Bible that is popularly referred to when discussing hardships and difficult seasons, and that is the story of Job. The Bible describes Job to be blameless, upright, and a man who feared God (Job 1:1). Yet he lost everything he owned and he was struck with all kinds of health problems. When all this happened, his own wife asked him “do you still hold fast to your integrity?” (Job2:9) As if saying “you’re still following God and believing in Him after all you’ve just been through?” Then she told him to curse God and die. She saw the better path to be one of cursing God and Job losing his life, rather than Job choosing to follow God and living through the hardship he was in. She too had lost all her possessions and ten children, and so I’m sure her heart was grieved beyond description. Yet Job’s response to her is so rich in wisdom, he asked her “Should we accept only good things from the hand of God and never anything bad?” (Job 2:10).
So let me ask you that question, do you accept only good things from God and never anything bad?
It’s hard to reconcile that *some* hardships that we face are allowed by a God we know to be good. But if the Bible is full of promises like Romans 8:28 (“And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.”) and Psalms 37:25 (“I have been young, and now am old; Yet I have not seen the righteous forsaken, Nor his descendants begging bread.”) does that not guarantee that the outcome will always be for our benefit? Even in the middle of the very difficult circumstance we’re faced with, we can hold onto God’s promise that gives us a glimpse of a hindsight advantage, and that in and of itself is a blessing. At the end of the day, God’s word says all of God’s promises are yes and amen ( 2 Corinthians 1:20). Not a maybe, or a possibly, but simply yes this promise will surely come to pass, and amen I agree with it (if you of course actually do).
Yet, even with the truth of God’s word, there is a journey of faith that we have to fight for in order to truly believe God. I believe that this point— the point between praying for something and living in the answered prayer—is where we can choose to suffer well, or not. This is where the fruit of long suffering is seen. Do you know how to have a good attitude in the midst of a very hard season? Do you know how to stay faithful in obeying God when it seems as though He’s withholding something from you? Do you know how to rejoice in the midst of sorrow? I think the answers to these questions will reveal whether or not you and I know how to suffer well.
Walking with Jesus doesn’t exempt us from suffering, but it does equip us to suffer well. It does strengthen us for the long road ahead, and it does provide us with the promise of His comforting presence which enables us to keep going. I pray you find solace in this verse “in all their suffering he also suffered, and he personally rescued them…” (Isaiah 63:9a). God is not turning a blind eye to your suffering. This scripture makes it clear that He is with you through the suffering and that He will rescue you. So, just as we encourage one another to do well in all the other fruits of the spirit, i.e. loving people well, being kind to people well, we should also learn to suffer well. For what we suffer now, does not compare to the future glory that is to come when we experience that answered prayer( Romans 8:18).
I pray that in the midst of whatever you’re facing, that you keep drawing near to God for strength, and He will surely see you through.
Until next time,
Beautyoluwa
Exactly this! 👏🏽